Why I'm Creating Practicing Being Human

I don't think most of us were ever taught how to actually be human.

We were taught how to perform. How to achieve. How to make good grades. How to be productive. How to keep everyone happy. How to smile and say, "I'm fine." How to keep going when we probably should have stopped.

And good-NESS...we've gotten REALLY good at it.

The problem?

I'm not convinced it's actually working.

Over the last several years, I've been asking myself a LOT of questions. Not because I enjoy making life complicated (although my family would probably argue that's debatable 😂), but because I started noticing patterns in myself that I couldn't ignore.

• Why do I feel guilty when I rest?

• Why do I assume something bad is about to happen the moment life starts feeling peaceful?

• Why do I apologize for taking up space?

• Why is asking for help SO uncomfortable?

• Why do I instinctively make everyone else comfortable before I even ask myself what I want?

None of those questions had quick answers.

Honestly...most of them just led to more questions.

At first they filled journals. Lots of journals.

Then they turned into stacks of neuroscience books, psychology books, attachment theory, trauma research...basically anything I could get my hands on that might help me understand why our brains do what they do.

Because I wasn't looking for someone to tell me how to become a better person. I wanted to understand why being a person felt so hard sometimes.

Somewhere in the middle of all of that, I started writing a book.

And then something funny happened. I realized I didn't want to wait until the book was finished before talking about this stuff. I wanted to have these conversations NOW.

Because honestly? I have a feeling I'm not the only one who's tired. 

I'm SO done believing that my worth is connected to how productive I am. I'm done thinking I have to earn rest. I'm done pretending healing is some neat little checklist where one day you graduate and never struggle again. I'm done believing that if I could just get my house organized enough...or my calendar organized enough...or my nervous system organized enough...THEN I'd finally be allowed to breathe.

Nope. Not doing that anymore.

So that's where Practicing Being Human came from.Not because I'm an expert.Definitely not because I've figured it all out.

It's simply a place for us to practice together.

Every day I'll share one thought. One story. One question. One tiny practice. Sometimes it'll be backed by neuroscience. Sometimes it'll come from something ridiculous that happened in my kitchen. Sometimes it'll be something one of my kids said that completely wrecked me in the best way. Sometimes I'll probably tell on myself. Actually...Probably MOST days.

Because here's something I've been realizing lately. Healing hasn't looked like one giant breakthrough.

It's looked like hundreds of tiny moments. 

• Ordering what I actually wanted at a restaurant.

• Resting before I earned it.

• Playing with my kids instead of thinking about the dishes.

• Laughing louder.

• Crying without trying to immediately explain why I was crying.

• Saying, "Actually...I'd rather do this."

Tiny things.

But tiny things have a way of changing an entire life.

Here's the thing...I don't actually think becoming more human is about changing who we are.

I think it's about remembering who we were before the world convinced us we had to perform in order to be lovable. Before we learned to brace for impact. Before we learned to hide our feelings. Before we started believing everyone else's needs mattered more than our own.

It's less about becoming someone new...and more about coming home.

So if you're exhausted...If you're healing...If you're rebuilding...If you're questioning everything...

Or if you're just trying to drink one cup of coffee while it's still hot...I'm really glad you're here.

My hope is that we start asking better questions. Questions that lead to freedom. Questions that remind us we're not broken. Questions that help us notice the ways we've been surviving..so maybe, little by little, we can start living instead.

Because you don't have to become someone else. You don't have to have everything figured out. You don't have to be perfect. You just get to practice being human.

And honestly?

I think that's enough.